I secretly want to be a farmer...

Ok I don't really want to be a farmer. I know enough of farm life to know it's long days, often dirty, smelly work, exhausting stresses and like motherhood, a rewarding but a seemingly never ending job. Yet as my life as a pastors wife, homeschooling mom, etc. etc. etc... seems to be harder and harder these days I do escape to my fake farm, Hay Day. It's a game on my iPhone and it is sucking up my extra time. I get alerts all day long as to when my eggs need to be gathered, new crops planted, stuff sells in my farmers market etc. It's fun, but I am noticing I do it to escape... I am not old, but I have been married almost 18 years and been through enough painful things in my life to realize I am in a season of hurt. If it's not me, or loved ones in my life, it's people I am ministering to in my life. Emergency phone calls, families in distress, it feels as if things are hard in everyone around me and in my life all at the same time. Sometimes in ministry I feel like I want to post one of those injury signs at workplaces stating it's been so many days without a trauma.... But so far it would keep being at 0.
Driving home from my families house today, everyone in the car was sleeping and I was cruising along singing praise songs. It seemed as if the perfect one right after another kept playing and playing. It was such a healing time for my heart. Much better than any farm game and then I heard that familiar still small voice.... Remember Janet when at the beginning of the year I said I wanted you to sing. Sing no matter what came.... This is why. When you praise me even in the storms, even in the pains and heartbreaks of life, it releases my power in your life and in your heart and it heals you. I sighed.... I sang some more... He says the sweetest things to me in that still small voice.
Then to further confirm He is speaking to me and it's not just my own thoughts he starts speaking scripture into my heart.... Just like when the rabbi's would give the first part of a scripture so the student would know where to go look for the rest, He says to me.... I look up to the mountians- does my help come from there? My help comes from The Lord, who made heaven and earth.
I know that exact phrase is a psalm but I can't remember which one.... When I get home I look it up and sure enough. God is speaking sweet comfort to my soul. So tonight.... I am not escaping to my farm... Which I still enjoy playing.... I am escaping to His word. A much better place, a much sweeter promise, a true lasting place of comfort where I no longer have to escape, because He remains with me no matter what I face, no longer needing to escape the valley, because He is walking with me through it.

I look up to the mountains— does my help come from there? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth! He will not let you stumble; the one who watches over you will not slumber. Indeed, he who watches over Israel never slumbers or sleeps. The Lord himself watches over you! The Lord stands beside you as your protective shade. The sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon at night. The Lord keeps you from all harm and watches over your life. The Lord keeps watch over you as you come and go, both now and forever. (Psalms 121:1-8 NLT)