What would your life look like if you did not hold back? If you stepped out in faith, pushed through your deepest fears, conquered your demons, defeated your strongholds, forgave, forgot, and chose to truly live? What if the box you built for yourself suddenly had invisible walls and you were no longer held back by logistics, finances, relationships, insecurity, or doubt? What kind of a life would you be living now if the "reality" of your situation was not an excuse and you simply lived out your calling and your dreams without holding back?
I am a part of a small club of girls that are trying to keep each other accountable in our everydayness of life. Reading our bibles, praying and working on things in our life, like more exercise, better food choices, etc., with the focus to be, God first before everything else. One of the girls asked the above questions and it inspired a blog writing out of me....
I love your question it really made me look back at my life and think about things... I came to this conclusion... I feel I made that choice a long time ago, to get out and walk on the water with Jesus and so my life would look exactly like it does right now. I don't mean I have attained all spiritually, or that I won't ever try and climb back onto the boat, or that I have completely conquered it all and am doing everything you asked perfectly and at all moments in my life, but that I am doing it... In the process, an ongoing thing in my life.... Let me explain....
I was saved at age 3. Grew up being a pastors kid and always serving full time in every aspect of ministry you can think of. Name it and I have most likely done it... I never really had a time of serious rebellion. I certainly flirted with sin in my early teen years. Between the ages of 14-16 I really struggled with the call of Satan and the world, and wanting to sin and choosing to walk with God, despite what my friends did. I ended up choosing God. I quit the school I was in, started working full time, and did my 11th and 12th grade years of high school in one year so that I could graduate early and get away from the high school crowd of friends that at that time was where all my biggest temptations were....Mostly boys, I liked them, they liked me, and well... the verse about not awakening love before it's time has so much wisdom in it!!!! Then I met my husband Rob and at the age of 18 I was married to him. Early in our marriage we decided that our marriage wasn't just for us and what we could get out of it, but so we could be a team that would love and serve God as best we could and help others that were put in our daily lives. Before children, we would let people who needed a few months with no bills live with us, we would wether it was in our grocery budget or not have people over and feed them and encourage them. When we lived in the ghetto we would make lunches for the young boys of the drunk across the street and have them over to play and feed them. We would give them bibles and love on them and would minister to their mom as best we could. After children and moving to a better neighborhood we still have had people live with us more often than we haven't, and I don't mean renting a room in our house so that we can have help with our own bills. We have always let everyone live rent free, I mother them a little, Rob fathers a little, doing those things for them they don't notice and won't notice until they have kids of their own someday. We feed them and have even helped with extra bills they come up against even if we didn’t have the extra money to give. We served as full time volunteers in our churches long before we were ever officially on staff for it, giving every extra hour after our day jobs to serve in any way we could. We have done missionary trips alone and together. We have given extra money anonymously to help people we see need it, even when it meant we would go without. We have the heart of "if it needs to be done and we can do it or help we will." We never asked to be in the leadership roles we are in now, it just is where we ended up after over 18 years of serving in whatever way we can at our church. We have had many times of heartbreak, sickness, wondering what God was doing in our lives , times with money, times without.... My husband also volunteers as SDPD chaplain and although I don't do any other outside the church or home stuff right now, I know because I take on extra alone hours with the kids on top of the 40-50+ hours of work he does all week, he is able to do the volunteering and just like David said in the Old Testament... The people who stay home and guard the stuff get to share in the reward just as much as those out fighting the battle. We really are a team that serves together. He has stayed home and "guarded the stuff" for me too. We don't know how long we will be serving in the way we currently do, but just like every other moment of our life, we just sort of take it as it comes. We have and will continue to do what God asks us to do daily. We don't wish and dream away the moments we are in. Even when our only job was to wipe runny noses and clean the bathrooms, we were blessed and happy to do it and we still do those jobs, because we know every role in the church, in the community we live, in our home is vital.
I don't share all this as wow, how amazing are we, not in any way do I mean that.... but really I give all glory to God, and credit to our parents. They are both, his parents and mine, still married over 40+ years. They both served and continue to serve their churches for many many years and both his parents and mine raised us to know God personally. They raised us to not quit when things get hard and yucky. It isn’t all roses and glorious moments when you walk on the water with Jesus. My parents had us reading our bibles on our own daily, and together in family bible times since before I can remember. My parents were always taking people in and feeding and loving on them. They, both his parents and mine, would serve in any capacity that was needed. They would do missions trips, set up, clean up, childcare, janitorial, home fellowships anything.... They never despised the small every day things that God allowed them to do, and it often ended up God would lead them and bless them to bigger things too. Yet they have always been the type that would still pick up a vacuum and clean if that is what the church or someone needed. They would buy groceries for a random stranger in a store if that's what God showed them was needed, they would travel across the world to Africa to encourage other missionaries and share the gospel if that was what was needed. At our last ladies outreach that ended up being for 192 ladies my mom spent the Thursday prior gluing decorations and cleaning and setting up tables. She never once said "someone else should do this.... Don't you know I used to be a popular guest speaker... Invited to do retreats and special functions for groups anywhere from 50-500." Nope she just quietly served and set up, so someone else could go up on stage the next day and share and be the speaker. I think both my parents and Rob's parents have taken that plunge and stepped out on the water and walked with Jesus and they have passed that legacy onto their children. They have seen heartbreak, loss, sickness, richness and poorness. They have hurt, been unfairly judged, and even been imperfect and made mistakes. But they have always kept on... Just doing their very best to love God and be obedient to walk by faith, and do whatever He shows them to. I think I am doing the same thing... It's their legacy, I am a second generation Christian. It gives me hope for my friends who are brand new christians... that they can change their lives and the legacy that will be given to their children. I am excited for my children to do the same things..... So I think, to answer your question, I am living outside the box, walking on the water with Jesus, always perfectly? No! Always fearless? no! Always in perfect obedience and faith? No! but I am doing it!!! Thanks for asking a great question. I sometimes have doubts, fears, moments where like Peter I cry out to God and say Lord help, I am sinking. I question if I am doing enough for God, should I be better, could I be better..... It was really cool to take a look back and reflect on my walk of faith. It's all God, he truly has done this work in my life and I pray and ask him to continue until my last breath here and my first breath in eternity. I want to keep making that same choice everyday to step out of the boat and walk with Jesus on the water. Living a life of faith. And I am confident He will continue to do that with me....
being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ; (Philippians 1:6 NKJV)
So now blog readers... all 10 of you! ;-) I ask you. Have you stepped out in faith and started walking on the water with Jesus? If you have, I bet your life is exciting, hard, blessed, scary, and many of the same things mine is. If you haven’t... you can always start! My pastor (and father) preached the same message to my church this last Sunday... “Live as if you really believe in Sunday!!! (Referring to resurrection Sunday)” - Leo Giovinetti
