First Love

I am reading a new health book and in it she talks about how she loves her job. I couldn't stop thinking about that. I used to love my job. I loved being a mom. I loved the kind of mom I was. I grew up only ever wanting to be a secretary, a waitress and a mom. I was a secretary before I had kids and I loved it. I have never been a waitress but I am convinced I would enjoy it. I have been a mom for 13 years and until recently I did love it.

Some how I got caught up in how everyone else is doing it. How everyone else keeps their home, how everyone else teaches their kids, how everyone else organizes their day, how everyone else lets their kids do this or that. It has turned it all into a giant chore of the same drudgery every day for me. I no longer just sat on the floor and played for hours, I no longer slept in and started my day when we felt like it. I was a machine, everything organized, everything in its place, dressed and ready for my day with my shoes on. I no longer told the kids, yeah go play in the rain. I was too concerned about the mess. I no longer said yeah we are eating breakfast in moms bed today. I no longer woke the kids up with singing..... I no longer put everything off on my list until I had read my bible.

Don't get me wrong, I love organization, I love lists and schedules, I just don't want them to rule my life. I don't want to be so bogged down with how things have to be in order that I miss the fun, the spontinaity, the precious moments with my kids.

So we are officially off the clock. WOO HOO! We have our lists of what needs to get done, and if I have to stay up past the kids bedtime to do it because we decided to jump in the pool with our clothes on and I have extra laundry then thats how it is.

Revelation 2:2a, 3-4, 5a "I know all the things you do. I have seen your hard work and your patient endurance. You have patiently suffered for me without quitting. But I have this complaint against you. You don't love me or each other as you did at first! Look how far you have fallen! Turn back to me and do the works you did at first.

Today I am returning to my first love.... Jesus, of course and my love of being a Mom!

Week 5 here we come!!!

So many changes I can't count later.......

I cannot believe tomorrow we will be starting week 5 of school, only 31 more to go.

We have had schedule changes, major clean outs and reorganizing, and many many tears on my part.

As I was crying this weekend in frustration as this weekend was spent preparing for yet another change in our school years plan I kept praying and asking God, what is it I am doing wrong? I was ready to quit it all and just hide myself in a hole. Now mind you I am not a newbie at this. This is my 9th year of homeschooling. I have plans to go all 13 years with all 5 kids, but I leave every year up to the Lord and how he directs. I knew this wanting to quit wasn't a direction from him but just my emotions running away with me.

This evenings message at church said it all. Quit fighting my flesh, and feed my spirit. Take my focus off of those around me and put it back on Jesus. Read, read, read my bible!

Yep I had been caught up in the opposite of all those things. I am such an all or nothing personality that when our pastor challenges us to read our bibles for an hour every day if I can't do the hour, I usually don't do it at all. I also easily get caught up in wondering what others are doing or thinking, and fighting the flesh can be such a huge focus I forget to feed my spirit until I realize I have nothing left to fight with.

So with that said, we are back to no assigned times for school, just a check off list of what needs to get done. We are having school in a freshly cleaned out garage. Tomorrow high on my list is to get some Olivia appropriate toys out there to keep her occupied while the rest of us work. I also have taken everything off the schedule for Monday - Wednesday so we have 3 strong school days with Thursdays their class day, and Fridays our Park and Field trip days and finish up school work days. In October Piano and Base will move to Thursday afternoons, so it really will be 3 Strong all school days!

I am going to bed reading a devotional, and waking up reading my bible and having time with him first.... even if that means waking to an alarm clock. :-)

Dogs, Dogs and more Dogs.

I had a puppy named Esther, we got her 2 years ago. She was beautiful and sweet and helped me through a really rough time. Dogs are good about that. They let you sit and cry and pet them and they never get tired of it and they don't answer back. Well about 1 year of age we could tell she was bored. So we got her a puppy. She loved the puppy. He was a boxer like her, but he just kept growing. Pretty soon our backyard was overwhelmed with one small boxer and one giant and still growing boxer. So we started looking for a new home for him. Well we found one, but they only wanted both. I was heartbroken. I begged my husband to let me keep her. He thought it would be wrong to seperate them. They now live on 5 acres and are reported to be very loved and very happy. Well in the mean time of finding them a new home, we took in a dog that my parents got but didn't mesh with their dog. She was super sweet, but drove mine and my sons allergies crazy. She was here a little over a week and we were blessed to find her a new home....

Well I was still sad and Rob wanted to bless me. Soooooo..... we got this little baby black bear we call "Sparky Sprite" She is 1.2 lbs and will grow to be a whopping 3-5 lbs. We have had her 2 weeks now. She went with us on our family vacation. She is exactly what I have always been wanting...... She can travel with us, she is really a part of the family. She is hypo allergenic and hasn't bothered any of us in the slightest. I am blessed that all the dogs found good homes and hope to have a long long time with little Sparky.

I am not sure how to edit the pictures.... but they are in the order as follows. Sparky, Lolli or Annie as we called her. Xerxes is the brindle and Esther is the fawn boxer.

schedule change

7:15 wake, get dressed, take medicines
7:30 bible and prayer time
8:15 wake kids / start workout
9:00 start school
11:00 circle time
11:30 bible time
12:00 lunch
12:30 history/science
1:30 piano
2:00 oliva's nap / free time
4:00 whole house tidy

That is the new schedule.... Not as time specific as the last one. This is my schedule not the kids. Theirs is.....

8:30 wake and get ready for school

9:00 School

12:00 Lunch

12:30 more school

2:30 School Over, Chore time, then free time.

I took away the 30 minute time slots for them as it was frustrating them to change subjects before they were ready. So they basically have a start and a stop time and that's it. They do have a general list as to what needs to get done in a day so we will see if that helps.

Janet

First Week....

Look at that girl! Right smack in the middle of my school table. Smashed crackers on the table, tears, she was frustrated.... She just didn't understand how every day when she wakes up she has everyone catering to her every moment and now.... well no one was available. Everyone was busy with school. She is the number one reason our schedule changes next week...

I am not sure what to do with her.... I will admit I had as many tears this week as her, if not more!

Oh and do you all like that I can post pictures now???

Day 2....

Dun dun dun......

Ahhhhh I can foresee my future! I am pretty sure by the end of week 1 of school I will have completely changed our schedule. My neat, pretty little schedule I typed up, gridded out, LAMINATED!!!!! Yes the schedule is going to be changed. At least Rob said to me in the midst of his groveling yesterday (that's what he called it, I told him not to grovel) But he said to me "I will laminate anything you want as many times as you need!" That is like heaven to me. Not only am I a list lady, but my new fascination with laminating has me wanting everything laminated.

My daily schedule was.....

8- Wake: Short Devo and Prayer, Get Dressed and Ready for Day

8:30 - Wake Kids, Have Breakfast, Brush Littles Teeth.

9:00 School Starts Kids have their own schedule, they have 30 minutes allotted for each subject, anything left over is considered homework and they have to complete on their own time. I have circle time with the little kids.

9:30 Take Dirty Clothes out and sort, begin laundry, take in 1 load and put away.

10:00 Bible Time

10:30 Mom back to laundry beast and kids back on school time

11:00 Work on Chores Kids continue with school

12:00 Lunch!

12:30 MW History TTH Science

1:30 PE

2:00 Olivia Nap,Work on Ministry, computer stuff, Laundry, more chores.

4:00 Snack Time

4:30 House Tidy, Laundry, Each kid takes 20 minutes with littles and 40 minutes to work on their chores.

5:30 Dad home, Dinner Prep, Schedule over until bedtime

9:30 Bathe Littles, Brush Littles Teeth, Everyone Prep for Bed

10:00 Kids in Bed, tucked in, Tidy House, Time with Rob

11:00 Read Bible, Pray,

12:00 Bedtime! (Lord Willing)

Oh and this is just the M-TH Schedule, things change on Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays... When is my Sabbath....

The new one.... well we will see by the end of this week, because so far, Laundry is not getting done. Chores??? What are those? Ministry stuff??? Just barely. The kids are doing great with their schoolwork, the big problem is the littles. David isn't up at 9, so circle time gets delayed. Olivia wants to be in the middle of everything so I need to schedule my time with her, and then just cram and get everything done during her nap.....

Keep you posted..... Rob, get ready to laminate :-)

"I Quit!"

I went to bed at 3AM. I woke at 5 with a baby, and at 7 with my neighbors dogs yapping in my window. Literally they sit on their side of the fence, 3 feet away from my open window and yap.... why? Because my cats sit outside my window waiting for me to wake up and let them in. Now they don't meow until they hear my voice that I am awake, but it irritates the dogs that they are so close and yet can't get to them. My cats know full well that the dogs can't get to them, so they just smugly sit there and cause a commotion.... FUN!

So 8AM rolls around and my husband sweetly rubs my shoulder to wake up and asks me if I want some coffee. I grumpily say "I Quit!" roll over and say "I can't do it, I am too tired, I have no calendar (long story) and I can't do it." He tosses the covers over me and says "Whatever!" and walks out of the room. I pull the covers over my head, I start to cry and then stubbornly decide to stay in bed. Rob gets up and proceeds to do what he does best, the right thing. He always does the right thing (yes sometimes it is irritating, just being honest). He gets the kids up, starts them on breakfast, makes a bottle, etc. etc. etc......

I send him a text because with 5 listening ears and a roommate it is the only way for private conversation at times. Plus Rob tends to hear only the first thing I say and miss the rest so reading it helps him, and he is way better in communicating back through writing then through speaking where he tends to just be silent. I say to him.... "Whatever???" "Oh great that supports me, rant rant rant... nag nag nag.... LOL, yeah, not retyping it, because it wasn't pretty the first time." Yet somehow through my complaints he read the heart of the issue. I was completely overwhelmed, exhausted and frustrated because my main thing I use for ministry, school, outlet and the majority of keeping it all organized was down., and he was partially to blame.

I get up, and start to get ready to have circle time with David, who is extremely excited. Rob quietly comes up and asks if he can have 5 minutes. Mind you he has stayed late to go into work to continue getting the kids started on school and all the right things....

How can I resist.... He pulls me into the room and sits me on his lap. He says he is sorry that he wasn't more sensitive, sorry that he let me down on this computer issue, sorry for the other things I had complained to him about. Very humble.... I said I was sorry for the way I responded. Sorry for the way I complained. I looked at him and said in 15 years, all the times I have said "I Quit!" Have I ever? I looked at him, making my brown eyes be as puppy dog as they can be..... he says "No, but every time you do, it scares the hell out of me, that one of these days you will!" I couldn't help but laugh.

Not sure why I am sharing this, other then, I hope you can relate. God lead me to the verse...Jeremiah 31:3 "The LORD hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with loving kindness I have drawn thee." Rob certainly drew me with loving kindness, and God certainly has been all day with helping me through a very stressful day.