First Week....

Look at that girl! Right smack in the middle of my school table. Smashed crackers on the table, tears, she was frustrated.... She just didn't understand how every day when she wakes up she has everyone catering to her every moment and now.... well no one was available. Everyone was busy with school. She is the number one reason our schedule changes next week...

I am not sure what to do with her.... I will admit I had as many tears this week as her, if not more!

Oh and do you all like that I can post pictures now???

Day 2....

Dun dun dun......

Ahhhhh I can foresee my future! I am pretty sure by the end of week 1 of school I will have completely changed our schedule. My neat, pretty little schedule I typed up, gridded out, LAMINATED!!!!! Yes the schedule is going to be changed. At least Rob said to me in the midst of his groveling yesterday (that's what he called it, I told him not to grovel) But he said to me "I will laminate anything you want as many times as you need!" That is like heaven to me. Not only am I a list lady, but my new fascination with laminating has me wanting everything laminated.

My daily schedule was.....

8- Wake: Short Devo and Prayer, Get Dressed and Ready for Day

8:30 - Wake Kids, Have Breakfast, Brush Littles Teeth.

9:00 School Starts Kids have their own schedule, they have 30 minutes allotted for each subject, anything left over is considered homework and they have to complete on their own time. I have circle time with the little kids.

9:30 Take Dirty Clothes out and sort, begin laundry, take in 1 load and put away.

10:00 Bible Time

10:30 Mom back to laundry beast and kids back on school time

11:00 Work on Chores Kids continue with school

12:00 Lunch!

12:30 MW History TTH Science

1:30 PE

2:00 Olivia Nap,Work on Ministry, computer stuff, Laundry, more chores.

4:00 Snack Time

4:30 House Tidy, Laundry, Each kid takes 20 minutes with littles and 40 minutes to work on their chores.

5:30 Dad home, Dinner Prep, Schedule over until bedtime

9:30 Bathe Littles, Brush Littles Teeth, Everyone Prep for Bed

10:00 Kids in Bed, tucked in, Tidy House, Time with Rob

11:00 Read Bible, Pray,

12:00 Bedtime! (Lord Willing)

Oh and this is just the M-TH Schedule, things change on Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays... When is my Sabbath....

The new one.... well we will see by the end of this week, because so far, Laundry is not getting done. Chores??? What are those? Ministry stuff??? Just barely. The kids are doing great with their schoolwork, the big problem is the littles. David isn't up at 9, so circle time gets delayed. Olivia wants to be in the middle of everything so I need to schedule my time with her, and then just cram and get everything done during her nap.....

Keep you posted..... Rob, get ready to laminate :-)

"I Quit!"

I went to bed at 3AM. I woke at 5 with a baby, and at 7 with my neighbors dogs yapping in my window. Literally they sit on their side of the fence, 3 feet away from my open window and yap.... why? Because my cats sit outside my window waiting for me to wake up and let them in. Now they don't meow until they hear my voice that I am awake, but it irritates the dogs that they are so close and yet can't get to them. My cats know full well that the dogs can't get to them, so they just smugly sit there and cause a commotion.... FUN!

So 8AM rolls around and my husband sweetly rubs my shoulder to wake up and asks me if I want some coffee. I grumpily say "I Quit!" roll over and say "I can't do it, I am too tired, I have no calendar (long story) and I can't do it." He tosses the covers over me and says "Whatever!" and walks out of the room. I pull the covers over my head, I start to cry and then stubbornly decide to stay in bed. Rob gets up and proceeds to do what he does best, the right thing. He always does the right thing (yes sometimes it is irritating, just being honest). He gets the kids up, starts them on breakfast, makes a bottle, etc. etc. etc......

I send him a text because with 5 listening ears and a roommate it is the only way for private conversation at times. Plus Rob tends to hear only the first thing I say and miss the rest so reading it helps him, and he is way better in communicating back through writing then through speaking where he tends to just be silent. I say to him.... "Whatever???" "Oh great that supports me, rant rant rant... nag nag nag.... LOL, yeah, not retyping it, because it wasn't pretty the first time." Yet somehow through my complaints he read the heart of the issue. I was completely overwhelmed, exhausted and frustrated because my main thing I use for ministry, school, outlet and the majority of keeping it all organized was down., and he was partially to blame.

I get up, and start to get ready to have circle time with David, who is extremely excited. Rob quietly comes up and asks if he can have 5 minutes. Mind you he has stayed late to go into work to continue getting the kids started on school and all the right things....

How can I resist.... He pulls me into the room and sits me on his lap. He says he is sorry that he wasn't more sensitive, sorry that he let me down on this computer issue, sorry for the other things I had complained to him about. Very humble.... I said I was sorry for the way I responded. Sorry for the way I complained. I looked at him and said in 15 years, all the times I have said "I Quit!" Have I ever? I looked at him, making my brown eyes be as puppy dog as they can be..... he says "No, but every time you do, it scares the hell out of me, that one of these days you will!" I couldn't help but laugh.

Not sure why I am sharing this, other then, I hope you can relate. God lead me to the verse...Jeremiah 31:3 "The LORD hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with loving kindness I have drawn thee." Rob certainly drew me with loving kindness, and God certainly has been all day with helping me through a very stressful day.

Not at all as planned!

Wow, I have 12 days until school starts. Part of me can't wait to get back into that routine, and yet part of me feels overwhelmed at all the work that means.
I really have been lazy this summer. Ok, well not lazy exactly because I have had kids over almost every single day, numerous parties and gatherings, almost something every single day and evening.... Yet lazy in that none.... repeat none!!!! of my summer projects are done or even started. So tonight as I mourn the loss of my handy Iphone and wonder if it will get replaced, repaired, or just be gone. I sit here and think I should type out a TO DO LIST and see just how much I can get done before August 2.


o Clean out all white cabinets in garage
o Clean out attic
o Clean out all shelves in garage
o Clean out clothes that do not fit David
o Clean out clothes that do not fit Olivia
o Clean out toy buckets/baskets
o Completely organize toys
o Help kids clean out closets
o Help kids clean out drawers and desks
o Clean out kitchen cabinets
o Clean and organize all books
o Clean and organize all DVD’s
o Clean and organize all CD’s
o Plan and prepare first 4 weeks of school
o Plan and prepare field trips/park days
o Clean out emails
o Clean out and reorganize receipts
o Clean out and reorganize files
o Clean out and reorganize school supplies
o Stay sane!!!!


Well here goes.... Let's see how much I get done.

The Key to Successful Scheduling!

My next school year I am taking on a new challenge I have never done before. A schedule. Yes I have a daily plan for school. The kids have their own daily check off lists, however this year each activity is going to be assigned a time and we are going to stick to it. (I hope!)

On the advice of a mom to 12, I picked up a book called Managers of Their Homes by Steven and Teri Maxwell. It is a lot of information, and I have yet to find the time to finish it. I am working my way through it. Well when I got to chapter 2, I knew I was in the right book.

"There is a starting poing for success in daily scheduling...schedule our own personal time with the Lord each day. When we can schedule and remain faithful to this time, the foundation and cornerstone of our day, we can succeed in scheduling."

Yep that is what I have been lacking and needing. I don't know about you, but ever since I added the last 2 kids to my family I have struggled in this area like never before.

So pray for me, and I will share how it goes.

There really was a reason I wasn't posting....

I check blogger almost every day. I see my post and I think, I need to write another one. Yet this scripture keeps running through my head. 1 Thessalonians 5:21 "Prove all things; hold fast that which is good." I can't even think of how it appears in context in the bible, but for whatever reason it is what is playing in my head every time I look at this place.

Almost 8 months ago I had some testing done. They said my hormones weren't functioning properly, my thyroid wasn't functioning properly along with some other health issues. I tried the treatments, but it messed up my milk supply to Olivia who was only a few months at the time. I was wanting to make it to at least 6 months of nursing so we delayed treatment. Then a few months went by and things just got worse for me. We tried weaning her and she wouldn't have it. Now flash to last month around the 25th and she is 11 months old, eating meals, drinking from a bottle, so if my milk supply dips its going to be OK, we pray and start the treatment back up. A few days later I have a moment with the Lord in devotion where I pray to him for a word and a healing of my mind and all the junk I have let run through it (negative self talk). Then I go to the women's outreach, and I shared what God spoke to me there. Well I made a commitment to NEVER say another negative thing about myself again. As my dad would say I took the sign off my back that says "Kick me, I do!" Out loud, or in my head, it didn't matter, I was never going to say another negative thing again. I posted scripture and really committed to this. God opened my eyes to see other people and how down they talk about themselves, to see how hurt people are. I know I have walked with the Lord a long time and he has faithfully taken me through many many valleys, and highs and hard and easy moments of life. I always pray for healing and once again I have experienced it. He has healed my heart, and healed my body. The problems and there were many I was experiencing from the lack of hormones was horrible and it was debilitating my entire life. Yes he is using modern science, but he created that and I am so grateful. So now that things are balancing out I am on a mission to restore some order into my home... I am back baby!

Last nights message is inspiring today's behavior.

I had a few friends ask what the message was last night at MVCF's women's ministry outreach was about so I decided to tell. Of course this is only my perspective and what God showed me through it. Let's see where do I begin.....

The evening began with some great worship. I love Roni and her rock out style to the regular worship songs we sing in the big church. Her heart and her genuineness shines through and for some reason I couldn't stop staring at her make up last night... I know silly detail to add, but she just glowed on stage.

We had a few announcements, I plugged our women's ministry FB page, talked about my moms group and took a blurry picture of myself with the crowd behind me.
We had more worship, a technical difficulty with my moms mic and then the study began.

My mom got up there to teach and started with a skit her and Linda had prepared. It really was more of a visualization of what God had showed her. It was about the cross and the body of Jesus on it and how she was following her emotions and feelings as a judge of who she was and how she felt. She didn't like herself so she would partake in anything that helped her "Feel" better. Satan, played by Linda, came along and encouraged her to follow her "feelings" that she should do whatever felt good no matter the cost. He told her their was no cost. Yet she couldn't help but look at the cross and see the body of Jesus, battered and bruised bleeding and then she reached to touch his feet and she looked down and she was covered in his blood. At this point she took her black coat off and put on a red robe. He told her that all her pain and guilty feelings and sins were covered in his blood, then she looked down and she was in all white. At this point she put on a white robe. She told how by believing in Jesus and what he did for us on the cross we were made white as snow. She talked about how we were to take off the labels others put on us, we were to take off the labels we put on ourselves.

I really am not doing this justice. It was powerful and the visual was great. She went on in her message to share about God and his greatness. How we always have time in our day to Praise the Lord. She read from Psalm 103 and from Isaiah. She shared something out of revelations. She had Roni come up and share how God was working in her life.
She prayed for us and used her gift of word of knowledge to give specific words to people in the room. Then we ended with a time of worship and ladies standing up front to pray for people.

So now the personal part.... what did this message mean for me.

I am a negative self talker. So from the moment she said God wants me to remove the labels others have put on me, and the labels I have put on myself.... she had my attention. I start my days telling myself I am fat, I am ugly, I am a failure, there is no way I can be productive in my day, I will never get it all done. I wake up every day tired and sore and defeated before I even start. I doubt my value, I tell myself I am worthless and that there is no purpose for me. I have failed. I am not needed or wanted... the list goes on. I don't end my day much better. I lay in bed for hours tossing and turning thinking of all I didn't do, of how overweight I have become, of bad decisions I have made that day or even 10 years prior. I tell myself I am a huge failure and disappointment to my family. I know I know I am a mess. You look at me and go ok, so she is overweight and yeah maybe she didn't get as much done as she could have, but what does she have to be so negative about... how has she really failed. Its not just today... I have been this way as long as I can remember. I was a size 5 36,24,36 yep the so called ideal measurements and I still felt I had failed at my weight. I was super organized with everything in its place mopped my floors every single day, and I still felt I could have done more, or done it better. Its just my perfectionism, my negative self talk. I have days where I am great and don't say a single negative thing and I have weeks where I am in a mental pit.
I believe in the bible. I believe every word is true. I believe in Jesus, that he is both God's son and God. I believe God came to give us life and that more abundantly... and yet if you could hear the talk that goes on in my head you would say.... You surely don't live it. Well today I am choosing to live as if I believe it. I started my day later then I wanted, less energy then I wanted and yet I am choosing to be joyful and replace my negative thoughts about myself with God's scriptures about me.
Psalm 139:14-18 "Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can't even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up, you are still with me."

Guess what he feels the same way about you!