10 weeks down.... a lifetime to go.

About 10 weeks ago I got the results from a food allergy blood test I had done.  They found 19 foods that my body was reacting to.  So began the 12 week process of completely eliminating all of those foods.  It has been much harder than I thought possible as most of the foods are things that are in everything.  Some of them are easily labeled, and others are hidden with other scientific names and reading labels has become a real art form.  With that said let me tell you how I got here....

I have always had allergy problems, I take medication for my asthma every day of my life since I was 11, and I have known for a few years certain foods instantly make me sick, or break out in rashes.  For the last 5 years I have been extremely exhausted every day of my life.  I wake up tired and hurting every day.  I don't complain and I just sort of plug through.  Well with my busy life... being tired is a huge hinderance.  I have gone to a few different Dr.s and they have all come to similar results... My body doesn't process things the same as most people, I get tired easily.  I don't process certain things in my body which help you recover after workouts and so with added weight, no diet really working, continuing cysts and hormone problems, racing heart, exhaustion and unable to dive into a workout plan without it causing other health problems.... Well I was gaining weight and just adding to my stressed out body with extra weight.  So as a last result my Dr. suggested this test and to see if eliminating these foods would help so that my body wouldn't be so stressed out constantly fighting these allergens that it could heal itself of the other problems.

Now to explain where I was at spiritually while all this was going on.  I cried every day, asking God for healing.  I went forward for every time prayer for healing was offered.  I read about God asking people if they truly wanted to be healed, I read about God telling people go dunk in the river 7 times, I read about the instant supernatural healing....  About this time I got a free Ebook online about healing in prayer.  In the book the lady asked... what if God had a way for you to be healed but was asking you to do something specific... Would you do it, no matter what it was?  Moving? Changing your diet? Eliminating Toxic Friends?  Whatever He asked... would you do it?  I prayed and said yes I would.

About that same time I got my list of foods that I should no longer eat.... So I have done it.  It has been really hard.  Once you hit 12 weeks on the plan you are allowed to try the foods one food at a time for a week and track any symptoms... I never knew that fatigue, exhaustion, body aches, constipation, stomach aches, sinus headaches, heartburn, skin rashes, acne, and the list goes on..... could all be results of food allergies often showing up days after the offending food has been eaten.

The results.... So far I have lost 24 pounds.  I am not eating less or following any diet other than to not eat my list of 19.  I don't feel tired, I feel so good, like I haven't felt in a long time or ever... I have never  even since I was in High school not had a day where I felt like I needed a nap, just to get through my day (Not that I get a nap, just that I need one)  and other than this last few weeks when I have had the flu, I haven't taken a nap or felt like I needed one at all.  I did accidentally by misreading a label eat something that had 3 of the 19 things in it... within minutes I felt horrible and couldn't believe that was how I felt every day of my life and just functioned through it.

I feel so blessed, God is healing me.  I am being obedient to what He has shown me will heal me and I just pray the blessing continues on.  I hope to update you in another 10 weeks with even better news.....

Being creative in finding time for bible reading and prayer

But when you pray, go away by yourself, shut the door behind you, and pray to your Father in private. Then your Father, who sees everything, will reward you. (Matthew 6:6 NLT)

I have 5 children and finding a spot where I can go away by myself is often a miracle. I attempt to wake before them for my daily quiet time, but sometimes that doesn't happen either. My kids have some strange mom sense. They always seem to know where I am at, when I am awake and they want to be right where I am. So how do I get my daily bible reading and prayer time in.... My little secret. A nice pair of headphones, my husband bought me these 2 years ago. They are mine and the kids know they better not touch them. We used gift cards and coupons and got a great deal, because they are expensive. My other secret is Pandora's instrumental Praise station. I put on the headphones, I turn on the instrumental praise station and I am now sitting in the same room while my kids do school, play, watch mickeys clubhouse or whatever and yet I am in my own private prayer closet. I can pray under my breath, I can read my bible and really hear from God. Even though it's more difficult to find the time to spend with God when we are busy, we don't give up doing it. Maybe you aren't home with 5 kids all day like I am... But a busy office space or busy courtyard at lunch, the headphones and tuning others out will still help you. If you are struggling to find the time or place to read God's word and pray, ask God to help you . He can show you how.

New Year... New Journal!

I love journals.  I go through at least half a dozen in a year.  I use them for notes at church, prayer meetings and bible studies.  I use them to keep track of my dreams. I use them to write prayers when I can't think straight to speak.  I use them for all kinds of things, and I always start a new one in January. Are you surprised?
This past December I was in a slump spiritually and feeling like God just wasn't speaking to me. I shared with my husband... who of course pointed out that I was wrong and God speaks to me all the time.  Mainly through His Word when I read my bible, but in all kinds of other ways too.  I started looking through texts and seeing the bible verses friends would share with me.  I looked through emails and the different devotionals I am subscribed to and how often the themes in them would be the same.  How my bible app verse of the day would often be the exact thing God showed me in my personal reading.  I realized the problem wasn't with God speaking to me... the problem was me remembering what God had said to me.
The bible tells us over and over to remember. Remember the sabbath, remember His name, Remember where you came from, Remember to keep the fire burning on the alter, Remember certain festivals, the list goes on and on.  In Psalm 105:5 it says... Remember the wonders he has performed, his miracles, and the rulings he has given,
So I began praying... what would be a good way for me to remember.  Sometimes with all the journals I go through it's hard to look back and read things He has said to me, because bible notes are mixed in with grocery lists and random doodles... So I have come up with one journal for the year to put it all in.

It's not really a journal, it's a calendar.  Each day as I have my bible time, I jot down the verses that stood out to me, just the reference.  If a friend sends me a verse, or I read one somewhere that stands out to me I write it down.  In the few weeks I did this before January and the start in my new calendar... I began to see patterns, and God confirming things He had said to me.  It was so cool to see how He really is faithful to speak to me... I just need to remember.  I am excited to at the end of next year look back in my calendar and see all the ways God spoke to me.  I also carry a small pocket size calendar that I got in the dollar spot at target to keep track of the verses shared at church or when talking with friends.  It doesn't take any time at all to jot down a quick reference.
The calendar I bought also lets me pop papers in and out, so I have added blank note pages to the "Journal" as well, because I have found God has much more to say to me than these small spaces can hold. :-)  Happy Journaling!

Resolutions, Fresh Starts, New Year ideals... Where to begin? Draw a circle, get in it and pray!

I love lists, I love plans, I love Mondays, new weeks, new months, fresh starts, but most of all I love a brand new year.  I get excited, I spend weeks in prayer prior to the 1st and I ask God, what do you want from me this year?  Then I make a list, keep it in my bible and ask God to do the new work in me for the year and He is always faithful, even when I am not. So what do I want this year... I want revival.  I want revival in my city, in my country, in my church, in my family and friends lives.  So I began praying and reading about prayer, revivals and other’s “success” stories.  I came across this quote and it has stuck with me....

Gypsy Smith a revivalist from the 1800’s was asked how to have a revival. “Go home, lock yourself in your room, draw a circle around yourself w/ chalk, and ask God to start a great revival w/in that circle! When God has answered your prayer the revival will be underway!” 

So my prayer for my home, my family, my friends, my city, my country, my world... begins with me.  This seems to be an ongoing theme in my life.  In the first year of my marriage I quickly became disillusioned with marriage and quickly saw all my husbands shortcomings... God brought me to a book about me being the first to change. I took my focus off of him and put it back on God and what He wanted to do in my life, and my marriage has never been sweeter. My husband continues to grow and be even more amazing every year and I hope he feels the same about me. I have had disputes, frustrations, arguments with people in my life, and God always brings me to His words in Matthew 7:1-5, Not to judge others, not to worry about the speck in their eye, and of course verse 5 standing out the most to me. “Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.” So in my lists and plans for this new year, at the very top is revival... Revival in me!  As far as what’s on the rest of my list... well that’s a whole other blog. I am off to lock myself alone in my bathroom and draw a circle in chalk, get on my knees and pray.  

As you can see... I really did draw a circle in chalk on my floor in my bathroom, I really did get on my knees and pray, and I really am waiting expectantly for God to do a revival in me. Now to go mop my bathroom floor and clean up the chalk.

A husbands advice...

 I started a commitment to blog more and then like usual I became busier than ever.  That's my life though....
Our women's bible study came to an end in November and I began preparing for our Annual Women's Christmas Celebration.  This year we were having a "Tacky Tea".  Mismatched tables, crazy tacky Christmas sweaters.  Games, door prizes, testimony, worship and teaching.  We started off with 150 tickets for sale and as we kept selling out in just a few days we began adding tables until I was sure we would be putting a few tables on the stage just to fit everyone.
My church is a smaller sized church.  It seats about 260.  We have an overflow room that seats 50-60 more, but once you add tables, it really limits how many you can have.  We ended up with 192 ladies coming.  I was so excited and so worn out.  I really want every detail to be important and matter and so I put a lot of time and effort into it.

At one point during the prep for this, I cried to my husband... He is my best friend and he gets to hear my breakdowns the most.  Well I cried to him about how overwhelmed I was, how much I had to do and then being attacked in the midst of it just felt like added impossibilities... How could anyone stand up in this... He always has amazing advice... He reminded me of Nehemiah and how they had to both build the wall, and carry a sword in case of attack.  He reminded me it isn't always going to be like that and to just keep working and holding up my sword.  God's strength would get me through.

Well as if personal attack, heartaches, planning and preparing an event for 192 ladies wasn't enough to add to my homeschool mom and pastors wife life... My oldest son came down with chicken pox.  From where, we have no idea.  I almost laughed at just how ridiculous my life was at that moment....
Well the tea is over, I made it through the attack, my heartaches.... well they are in God's hands.  My other kids all have chicken pox now, to which I quickly decided.... WINTER BREAK!!!  I mean really 4 kids with chicken pox and still doing school.. NO WAY!  I declare a mental Holiday just for their teachers sake. ;-)  And yet my husband was so right... I sat back, let God be in control, started everyday rising early before my family, sitting with my bible and praying while reading... and yeah, God's strength sustained me through it all.  And now... now what am I doing?  Absolutely nothing.  The nice thing about chicken pox, is we can't go anywhere and we can't have anyone over... So I have had 2 days of lounging with my kids in our jammies, watching movies, and I even have gotten to read a book.  I am so thankful for my husband and his wise advice.... Want a quick marriage tip?  The reason my husband gives such great advice is that he reads his bible almost every day.  I pray for my husband and I have for 17 years now that he would be so in love with Jesus and in love with reading the bible... Well he is, he does... and it means he is one amazing father and one amazing husband.   Don't focus on if they are romantic, or what they are or aren't doing for you... Pray they fall in love with God, and it will change them more than your whining, complaining or anything else ever will.

The pics are me in my tacky tea outfit... that lights up.  And the room packed with ladies.  Such a sweet day!

Therapeutic prayer journals...

You will keep him in perfect peace, Whose mind is stayed on You, Because he trusts in You. Isaiah 26:3 NKJV
Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Philippians 4:8 KJV

I want that.  I want perfect peace.  I want to think about things that are true, honest, just, pure, lovely, good report, things of virtue, praiseworthy things.  I want that to be my daily thoughts.  In all honesty, I try.  I memorize scripture.  I read my bible daily.  I listen to bible studies. I listen to and sing along with praise music.  I try... I really do.  Yet there are just some days where those negative thoughts fly in like a bird and make a nest in my head.  I can't stop thinking about problems, things I need to do, bills that aren't getting paid.  I worry about my children, I mull over choices and decisions I have made and regret.  I let everything come into my mind and I just think on it, I dwell on it, I wish I could change it, I am afraid of the outcome, I regret decisions and mistakes.... I just spiral down all too quickly.  My remedy....  Prayer.  It's always prayer.  I sit down with my journal.  (I have many) and I write all my negatives and then I just start praying and giving it all over to God.  I start thanking Him for what I do have, for how He has helped me, delivered me from other impossible situations.  I remember how He has comforted my heart from some of the most heartbreaking moments in my life.  I sometimes even cry some more over those moments and let Him comfort me some more.  It's really like the best therapy I could buy.  I wish I had saved my journals from the past... but usually I end up burning them... because well somethings are just left between me and God.  I think today is going to be one of those I fill a thousand pages days... (Not literally... but sometimes it feels close to it.)

The life of the overwhelmed...

Hear my cry, O God; Attend to my prayer. From the end of the earth I will cry to You, When my heart is overwhelmed; Lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For You have been a shelter for me, A strong tower from the enemy.  I will abide in Your tabernacle forever; I will trust in the shelter of Your wings.  

Psalm 61:1-4

These are just some of my all time favorite verses that God sweetly brings to mind when I am feeling overwhelmed.  It happens a lot you know.  I get distracted by the messy garage, the over flowing laundry hampers, the sink full of dishes, the schoolwork that still needs to be graded, the artwork that needs to be created for women's ministry, the name tags I was to make 2 months ago, and how many emails do I have to answer today?  Oh wait we have park day, and errands to run, dogs that once again need to be bathed... speaking of bathing... did I wash Olivia or David's hair this week?  I hope we have more detangling spray to brush out those tangles.  I just remembered something spilled in the fridge and I said I would get to it later.  Thanksgiving is at my house this year, and I am planning and prepping for a ladies tea for 184 ladies.... Payday is this week, so I will once again get to look at bills that there isn't enough money to cover, praying for miracles to buy my kids something nice for christmas.  Oh yeah Christmas... We won't have family with us this Christmas that were with us last.  Yeah... My heart begins to ache.  My aching heart reminds me of my aching body and all the ways it seems to be failing lately and should I try one more new Dr.? Or just stick with what I know. I get by feeling crummy, maybe I just deal with that.  

See how easily I can become overwhelmed... My lists of things to do never ends.  My lists of hurting ladies and friends I want to reach out to never goes away. My bills may get paid, but new ones always come.  So I cry.  I do cry out, just like this verse says.  It feels like it's the end of my earth.  The end of my rope that I am crying to Him from...  I ask Him, lead me to the rock.  The rock of my life Jesus.  The one who brings everything back into perspecitve.  The one that causes me to see I was a sinner doomed to hell, and He died for me.  Now I am saved by grace through faith.  I have the hope that this life isn't all there is and I will get to go to heaven and rule and reign with him throughout eternity.  Wow my day just got a whole lot brighter.  He then reminds me that He has been a shelter for me.  He has been a strong tower when I faced enemies.  I now declare that I will abide in His tabernacle forever; I will trust in the shelter of His wings.  

Thank you God, for all you do in my life, how You speak to me through Your Word and give me hope to hang onto.  I do have a life of being overwhelmed... but I don't have to stay in that mindset.  I can cry out and be placed back into the precious covering of His wings!

One of our past women's retreats... almost 10 years ago.  Yet the visual and picture has always stuck in my mind.  :-)